Wednesday, August 12, 2009

To a friend

Like a petal that forgot to blossom
Like a distant star that forgot to flicker
Like the evening orange that saddens silence
Like the monotone of the heavy hush
Like the sensation I could never capture
Like the cool black shrill that pierces the night
Like the bond you could never define
Like the music that lost its way
      & wandered into my life
you will be lost in the depths of my mind
      & there will be no escape.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

A scent from the past

For no reason at all, I went through my archive of clothes today. A really old but graceful dress waited in a bundle. I lovingly picked it and happily went about my day.

Just as I finished my breakfast, something wonderful happened. I was taken aback. It was a scent, a distinct one. It was a scent from the past. I took a pause to savor the moment. A strong emotion swept my mind. It seemed like I was meeting an old friend, someone who had been lost in time. I tried to recollect it; a vague ambience flew by. Nothing concrete. I smiled to myself and left for work.

All of a sudden it was again there…a whiff of the same fragrance, slightly sweet, ever so light. It was a memoir from a point that had disappeared in time and memory. Why did I feel so strongly about it? Did it remind me of someone? Did it remind me of a frame of mind, a state of life, a beginning? Did it remind me of lazy afternoons with friends, of evenings spent working with fervor? Did it remind me of the times I had smiled to myself, the times I had been elated, the moments of anticipation? There it was again, haunting me as I drove to work. Was it a perfume, a talc? It was just that…a scent from the past.

I thought about it on my way home. It was just so personal, the dress, the scent, the feeling, it made me so nostalgic, it pulled at me…tried to tell me something I could not understand. It tried to bring to me all those umpteen unimportant moments of life that are lost in the tracks of time, but are still very much you. It was a maddening feeling, the whiff of this fragrance; it ached my heart in a way I could not decipher.

As the day drew to a close and I reached home, I paused for a while before I changed. I wanted to keep it forever. I wanted to capture this scent and keep it crystallized…somewhere. Maybe someday, I hoped, someday, something would bring the scent alive, tell me more about my conversations with myself, take me back to those nostalgic times in life, give a form to this enchanting feeling. For now, the memory of the scent continues to haunt me; fascinatingly mysterious, yet so familiar, slightly sweet, so haunting.